AH holidays are officially coming to an end! this holiday isnt really a holiday i guess
okie my 1st week was spent MUGGING (really hardcore) for my h3 exam!
2nd week was daddy's work at the PC show, so i spent the time at home studying. and i fell sick. had cough, flu and fever. and surprisingly i managed to recover without the help from a doctor :)
3rd week... half of my hols is already gone.. study plus alternate day of going out :) at least i enjoyed my time out. study hard and play hard.
4th week.. mostly studying :( haishhh
aanyway, im nt really prepared for blocks. but im not gonna study really hard for it. i wil start after blocks. haish :(( but 2 months isnt enough for me
today's the 23rd month anniversary! one more month to our 2nd 1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY
cant wait for this school term to end :) i finally met up with TGT ytd for island creamery :D havent enjoyed myself for quite awhile.
BORED.
12:09 AM
Monday, May 18, 2009
so.. everything is settling down now. finally :) so now im much more relax, i think. there is finally some time for me to do my own work.
im lovesick today ><
change. is that good. is this what i want.
a few more mths and everyone will be graduating. time really flies.
what has gotten into me.
1:18 AM
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
yet another day. women are driving me crazy.. women.... arent i one too? ytd was crazy. today is too, to some extent. i have never said i want to be a model student. dont assume so.
i held on my breath and stared at her eyes. we clashed. she is the impatient kind. and i am the kind who will do the opposite of what you want me to do, and you are a stranger to me. i felt sorry for my *** beside me. cus she had to bear with all the clashes and bear with the toot telling her *** she doesn't deserved this. and im really sorry.. we came out, feeling defeated. took my bag and walked out. outside, i couldnt take it anymore. and tears flowed. told myself to stay strong n not let others see, cus i would hurt them even more. yet another clash with another *** it isnt my day. i got pick at everywhere. rules. i was thinking.. why is it that they dont need to adhere to rules. anger turned to sadness. i dont know why. makes me feel like im a problem kid. and i feel sorry for my parents.
today is a screwed day.
11:48 PM
Sunday, April 05, 2009
failed. u have failed. terribly.
1:06 AM
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
i just did my h3 labwork today with a rj boy. hahas thought my lab partner will pangseh me haish gotta start on my lab report soon..
i hate the feeling of insecurity.. it is suffocating. and it is all in my damn mind. i dont want it to spoil everything.
once again, forgotten. i said i hate it.
hmmmm im sure envious of ppl who have it so near. im used to it? do i even have a choice? it feels sour but all i could is to smile and be glad that at least there is something.
a few more months and im out of hwa chong/. so what have i achieved in this school? haish, am i regrettin? oh well, it is a choice i have made. it is the life i have chosen.
i miss christina:( miss our ninjado sessions together hahsa! miss kicking and punching and slammin each other down...:( haishhhhhh... my dear :(((
tink i will be seeing xian this thurs! yay :)
i dont wanna think so much but i cant help thinking. do i lack confidence in myself, i ask myself. probably? or else why will i be afraid? i dont wanna be so sensitive and stupid. i wanna have confidence in this. i dont wanna be so paranoid.
2:20 AM
Friday, March 27, 2009
haishh i hate trying to fix a smile on my face, when i dont even feel like smiling.. when i am not even happy. when i feel totally out of place, but i have no choice but to smile and pretend that, yea, it is funny. i thought things would change for the better after a few months... i thought i would start enjoying my time. but so far, in these few months, i have failed to see any progress. the mind is the strongest, yea as quoted from my gor. i know that, but i have chosen not to work my mind and force myself to think that yea, it is real fun. commitments have pulled me further away. and i can't really be bothered anymore. i'm dragging myself here and there, forcing myself to do things that make me feel.. hmm i dunno. terrible? i don't feel like myself at all. that is a different me. it used to hurt and affect me, but now. i have learnt to draw e line between my personal life and this. or perhaps, it has already created an impact on me and has become it is hard to explain.. right now, i shall continue to force myself to be positive to some extent and at the end of the day, when i end up dejected, i would wake up the next morning, unaffected by it.
today is my 20th mth anniversary with jay.. haishhh.. but im feeling so sad. i have to stay at home but i feel like going out. haishh. and i cant meet him 1st thing tmr. why do i always have to be the busy one? next tues is h3 lab again. busy again. and i heard about some plans to have stj on either labour day or good friday.. the days which i have been looking forward to go out for one entire day... haishh why? it is always so hard to find time.
wonder how they are doing... haishhh. the only one.
my life used to be mainly about #### but for this 1 and a quarter year, i have been deprived of them.. gotten used to it? of course.. but prefer things this way? hell NO. it feels terrible.
im lost and sad and i dont wanna be emo. i really miss my sec school friends.. :( am i still as impt?
this month has been a screwed up one.
2:30 AM
THE GIRL
kelly koh baorui
yuhua river valley hwa chong
08s6e
red belt ninja
soccer
pianist
